In sunny Singapore, Christmas isn’t Christmas till Orchard Road is lit up, infectious holiday jingles assail you at your local supermarket, and the airwaves are filled with the beautiful soulful singing of multi-award winning singer/songwriter Corrinne May. Ning Cai catches her favorite homegrown musician (who takes a short break from working on her latest album) for this special interview for Gen X Singapore.
After graduating from the prestigious Berklee College of Music, Corrinne May quickly began a successful career as a singer-songwriter in Los Angeles. In 2001, she released her debut album Fly Away which became an instant hit, winning her the New Folk Award at Kerrville Folk Festival that very same year.
She went on to bag the Best Contemporary Album at the Just Plain Folks Music Awards two years later. In 2007 she received an impressive hat trick of accolades, with the NUS Young Alumni Award, the COMPASS Young Composer of the Year, as well as the COMPASS Wings of Excellence special award. Overachiever, much?
How we met: back in 2011 when Corrinne was putting together the finishing touches to her fifth album Crooked Lines, I was in LA as part of a nine-month backpacking trip (read: shoestring budget) with my friend Pamela Ho. The two knew each other from university, and Corrinne graciously invited us to crash at her pad.
Now, every true Corrinne May fan would know that her last name is actually “Foo”. So over dinner one night, I asked Corrinne if her brother’s name was Ling You. Earnestly, Corrinne shook her head …and then realised one hot second later that I was pulling her leg. “Fooling you!” Corrinne roared with laughter, her bubbly giggles infecting her music producer husband Kavin and their beautiful little girl, Claire. Corrinne went on to use some of my jokes during her concerts, whenever her guitars needed a quick tune up between sets (if you ever meet her, ask her about the one about two lizards on a wall).
Fast-forward, it’s now coming to the end of 2020 and we’ve both evolved plenty but despite the changes that happened over the past decade, I’m grateful that our friendship hasn’t grown cold. If anything, it’s even stronger now. Despite her busy schedule, Corrinne, who is a passionate Roman Catholic, proved a steadfast and supportive friend when I desperately needed help and advice as I struggled with being a new mother while recovering postpartum. Listening to her heartfelt songs during those trying months made me realise that there were so many nuggets of wisdom woven into Corrinne’s lyrics.
It’s her music that inspired all these questions/themes (titled after her songs) about work, life and family.
1. “Everything In Its Time”: Work-Life Balance
NING: You’ve released five bestselling albums and have also collaborated with other music artists here and abroad, since graduating from Berklee College of Music. And then there’s also all that constant traveling between Singapore and Los Angeles, but there have never been any complaints about fatigue. Instead, you’ve always been all about positivity and gratitude. Let us in on your secret in achieving work life balance.
CORRINNE: I feel extremely blessed to do what I do. I’ve been able to pursue what I love—music and songwriting. I’ve been blessed to have people who listen and support my music. I’m blessed to be able to live both in Singapore and in Los Angeles for stretches of time each year, and to grow from the experience of being in two distinctly different geographical and social locales. I anchor my life in my love for God and in my love for my family.
I think that no matter what comes my way, I usually look for meaning in the things and experiences that come my way in my life, and my search for meaning is based on the deep knowledge and belief that the God who made me and who made the world and who made all the people I love. This God loves me more than I will ever know, and I base my search for meaning in my life to this trust in His love. I know that there is a greater good to all things and that good will prevail in the end. I also have a good kid and husband who humour me and get me to laugh when I get too serious about things! And I calm my soul with lots of prayer.
2. “Scars (Stronger For Life)“: Growing As A Person & Artist
You’ve been in the industry for two decades now. Every year, there’s more competition, more music artists hungry for their music to be out there. How do you focus on your growth as a musician and music producer, and also as a person? Is there any Gen X literature that inspires you in particular?
Wow….two decades! When you put it that way, it does sound like a good chunk of time has passed. I do worry about being a dinosaur every once in a while; I worry that what I have to say might not be popular, or relevant to the times. But then I remind myself that I make music—not for the sake of popularity—but for the same reasons that a bird needs to sing. I make music because I was made to do it. So I focus on that.
As for inspirations from Gen X music, in my teens I loved Whitney Houston’s voice and when nobody was around, I would belt out songs like “I Have Nothing” from the top of the stairwell, and pretend that I was a diva! (laughs) I was also very, very influenced by David Foster’s piano playing and his music arrangement styles. The way he voices his chords, the way he uses chord progressions, the way he writes melodies. From the time I heard the instrumental “Love Theme from St. Elmo’s Fire” playing from a record shop in Plaza Singapura, I was stricken—I wanted to be a musician there and then. Since then, David Foster’s music has always resonated with me.
As for literature, it’s not Gen X but I do have a “letter” that I read from time to time that gives me inspiration. It is a “Letter to Artists” by St John Paul II.
I’ve always written songs about perspectives and topics that are close to my heart, and I’ve found that the more genuine and raw those emotions are, the more they resonate with the people who hear these songs. For example, the song “Journey” was a song borne out of tears and frustrations. The lyrics were taken from lines I wrote in my journal as I struggled to figure out my place in this world. I initially thought it was my own unique experience, but over the years, so many people have come up to share that “Journey” was their story too. And it warms my heart to know that my stories are not just my own, but they are shared and lived by many others too, who take solace knowing too, that they are not alone.
In a way, I write songs and sing them because I am working to move souls, to move hearts, to share my own experiences through song, knowing that my experiences are not just my own, but are also experiences that others have gone through. Any joy or sorrow that I’ve come to experience is made richer when I realise that I do not experience that joy or sorrow because I stand alone, but that I experience that joy or sorrow in the context of a community. To realise that we are not alone in our struggles is powerful.
I write songs to remind myself and to remind all who hear these songs, that we ultimately are in the same boat in this journey of life. We can share in each other’s pain and sorrow. We can discover ultimately, how much we are loved.
3. “Something About You“: Making Marriage Work
Staying with you guys in LA, I caught a glimpse of the incredible partnership you share with Kavin. You guys have a rock solid marriage, and that inspired me greatly (I finally found someone who can also cook very decent Hainanese chicken rice and we got married LOL). But while your relationship comes off as smooth sailing and authentic, it doesn’t happen by magic. And it’s never easy for a couple to work together too, but you and Kavin collaborate on projects since music is what you both do. How do you do it?
We started off as friends, good friends. I found that I could trust him and that we both could speak in the language of music, a language that goes deep into both our hearts. This helps so much, to be able to share music with the one you love. When we hear a good song, we can both relate to it. When we hear an off-note at a concert, we give each other wordless looks and each of us would immediately understand that the other is also cringing at the dissonant note. So, in essence, I did marry my best friend. And it helps that he is such a good cook.
We’ve also had our challenges. We’ve quarrelled and fought over little trivial things like most couples do. We had the challenge of trying to figure out our different parenting styles the first few years after Claire was born. We’ve grown to respect each other in our new roles of father and mother.
Of course, there are other things that we’ve done over the years to help us grow in our relationship and understanding of each other. A little more than five years ago, we went for a good marriage retreat and workshop called the World Wide Marriage Encounter. That gave us the tools that we still use, to understand each other better, to work with our different love languages (Kavin’s love language is acts of service, which is why he shows his love for me by cooking for me and taking care of my computer problems, for example. My love language is time, so I show my love by spending time with my loved ones.
And the best part is that we also meet with other married couples once every month to share food and to rekindle our understanding of our spouse through dialogue and shared stories of love and challenges.
I think being part of a community is so important because we get to know that we are not alone in tackling the challenges of loving our spouses. I recommend that all couples go through something like a Marriage Encounter programme at least once in their marriage journey.
Oh yes, as for working together, we have come to a comfortable working relationship with each other. It was not easy at the start, but once we both understood that we had to treat each other with respect and kindness in voicing our varied opinions about music production, arrangements and songwriting, it became easier to work with each other, and it is, most times, fun, and a joy.
4. “Crooked Lines“: Raising Claire & Motherhood
One thing that endeared me to Claire when I first met her at aged two, was that she was such a pro at baby sign language (a signing system that allows babies who can’t produce words yet to communicate what is on their mind). She’d signal to you and Kavin when she was hungry, if she needed to go to the bathroom, or whenever she needed anything. That’s really clever parenting, teaching your little one baby sign language! Crazy how time flies, but Claire turns 12 next year. What are some nuggets of wisdom you’ve discovered in your journey of motherhood?
I really think that finding out about Attachment Parenting (popularized by Dr Sears) was a blessing. Attachment Parenting is basically the understanding that in the early years of a child’s life, there needs to be a solid grounding in emotional and physical attachment between parent and child. The idea being that the more a child understands and knows how much he or she is loved by the parent, the more that child will grow to be an independent, loving and joyful child, secure and confident, because they know that they are deeply loved. How does one practice Attachment Parenting in the early years? Well, the three practical ways are breastfeeding, babywearing and co-sleeping. These physical acts of affection and love to the child, and being attuned to their needs, means that the baby or child is less fussy as they grow.
I’ve found this to be true of Claire. She is so independent that at the age of 4, she took the school bus for the first time. I thought that she would be scared to go off on her own, but she got up that bus, not even turning back to wave bye and she was happily on her way. I, instead, was the one not wanting to let go. I had the blessing of time to be a full-time mother. So I really enjoyed my time breastfeeding Claire till she was almost 6. I carried her in the baby-carrier wherever we went till she was close to 2 and a half years old, and she only stopped sleeping in our bed when she was close to 10 years old.
My best friend told us about baby sign language. We bought a few DVDs teaching BSL so we all learned it together. But there are websites that teach that like SigningTime.com. We first learned some to teach her. Then when she was older, she would watch the kids programmes but we would also sign the word as we talked to her. Words for “apple”, “grape”, “watermelon”, “thank you”, “help”, “Mama”, “Papa”, “Grandmother”, “Grandfather”. Gradually we added more words like “cat”, “time”, and “baby”.
When Claire was a few months old and starting to observe my face and look at me as she was nursing, I would make the sign for milk and vocalise “Milk”. Or if she cried for milk, I would say “Oh, you want neh-neh?‘ and I would also sign the word “milk” as I prepared to nurse her. One time, when she was about 9 months old, I was out of the house and Kavin was looking after her, and she looked at him and signed “milk”. And Kavin said ‘Oh, you want Mama. Okay, she’s coming back soon and she will feed you milk, okay?’ and she was happy with that. I think that teaching Claire simple sign language helped her to understand that she could communicate with us even pre-verbally. So I don’t remember her ever having the Terrible Twos. We were blessed.
Another time when sign language really helped was when I accidentally locked her in the car while we were at our church carpark and I could not open the door to get her out. I had to call Kavin (who was at home, 20 minutes away) to come open the door with his extra set of keys. Claire was about one and a half years old and she was seated in her car seat. In the meantime, I signed to her from outside the window of the car, “Papa” and “help” and she was close to tears but she understood me. Then while waiting for Kavin to show up, I spent the rest of the time playing peekaboo with her by walking around the car and making it seem like a game.
I don’t think we can ever “spoil” our children by giving them the gift of our time and attention. I think the investment of time,especially in a child’s early years by the parents, is one that pays huge dividends. The first 10 years are so important to parent-child bonding. It hurts my heart to see how casually so many parents “farm out” this important role to domestic helpers or child-care centres. I have seen numerous mothers holding shopping bags or busy on their phones while the helper or nanny is the one wearing the baby carrier, trying to comfort the crying kid. Something is wrong with this picture. I understand that sometimes it is hard, especially with double-income families. But I think there is no greater investment than in giving the time to one’s child. Giving time, not toys, is the best gift one can give a child.
The other sad picture I’ve seen more and more of, is that of a family having dinner together at a restaurant or hawker centre, but instead of talking to each other, every single person at the table, including the children, are on their devices and nobody is paying any attention to anyone else. These are precious moments to bond as a family. I do hope more people use meal times to connect to each other, instead of connecting with their devices. Before I start sounding too “aunty”, I’d better share that, lately I’ve been seeing more and more fathers and mothers carrying their babies in baby carriers and cycling with their children. It gives me such joy to see this.
Now, the newest parenting challenge for me and Kavin as we parent Claire into her teens, is how to ground her in virtue, so that she understands how to stay safe from the minefields of social media. We are also homeschooling her. It’s so much fun to find out more about our funny, quirky little daughter as we learn about the world around us together. I’ve been doing more “read-alouds” with her and it’s been so nice to be able to share story-time together.
5. “The Answer“: What gives you strength
To the world, it seems like you have everything: an illustrious career, a happy family, a full life. But we all know that no man is an island. So what drives you? Who gives you strength?
I love going for Mass. It is Heaven on earth. At Mass, I get to eat spiritual food (the Eucharist, the real presence of God) and to be fed on the beautiful words from the Bible. My second greatest joy is just sitting in front of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament and just adoring the Eucharist at Eucharistic Adoration. If I could, I would spend hours adoring God in the Eucharist. This is where I draw my strength. This is where I figure out what I need to do with my life.
6. “24 Hours“: The Best Way To Live?
Eight years ago, you released this hit song which made international waves when it was featured on the DIVA Universal channel. Your fans and followers still talk about “24 Hours” on social media. So now on hindsight, complete this sentence: “If I only have 24 hours to live, I would…”
…get my soul sparkly clean by going for confession, receiving Jesus in the Eucharist at Mass, getting a blessing from the priest and spending time hugging and kissing my family, and perhaps praying one last rosary together, in the presence of the tabernacle in church, till my last breath.
7. “Safe In A Crazy World“: Words To Live By
2020 has been a crazy year for all of us. What is one life motto you cherish dearly and wish to impart to everyone out there, especially those who are struggling right now?
The words of Jesus are dear to me, especially this one : “I am with you always, even till the end of time.”
Thank you so much for the intimate sharing and insight, Corrinne. May your words of wisdom touch and inspire others. The team at Gen X Singapore wishes you all the very best for this exciting new music album you’re working on!
