In this edition of Ask Maggie Anything, Maggie dishes out advice on mid-life crises, relationship and the all-important question of: milk before tea or tea before milk?
Dear Maggie
I’m desperate! I hope you can help me! I recently caught my 50-year-old dad putting on makeup. I mean, it’s not VERY extreme type of makeup – but he’s using what looks like concealer, powder, even a nude lipstick and this thing that highlights his cheekbones. The thing that stuns me the most is he uses an eyebrow pencil! What should I do? My mom doesn’t seem to have noticed. Do you think he’s having a mid-life crisis? Is he having an affair… I can’t even say it. HELP! WHAT SHOULD I DO?
Desperate in Sengkang
Dear Desperate in Sengkang
I am assuming you are a young person aged between 17 and 25. What are you doing reading Gen X? Anyway, while I can understand your surprise at your father’s grooming habits, as Bart Simpson used to say “Don’t have a cow, man!” Your father may or may not be experiencing a mid-life crisis, but seriously if 25-year-olds can claim to suffer quarter-life crisis I think your dad deserves some love, not criticism.
I have a few questions for you. One: did you ever notice your father had makeup on before you saw him putting it on? My guess is you did not even notice, just like your mom. It is only when you saw him shaping his brows that you freaked out and now you cannot unsee. So, it’s probably not a new thing. Two: has your father’s behaviour changed in any way? My guess is no, he is the same dad you have known since you were little. Therefore, three: Why are you giving your dad a hard time? Did you know that in South Korea, men over the age of 50 buy and use makeup at a year-on-year growth rate of 53%? Men have every right to take care of their skin, accent their best features and hide their blemishes as much as women do. My final question: Why don’t you talk to your father about it? Don’t be judgmental, just ask him why he has chosen to use these products, and maybe you’ll get to understand your father a little bit better. And maybe even share makeup tips.
Dear Maggie,
I am a 48-year-old single woman living alone. Since COVID-19 started and I began working from home, I find myself really isolated—which previously, I really liked. Because I don’t like people and I don’t like socializing. But now, suddenly, I feel so lonely. Yet, it’s such hard work to go out and meet people, plus I wouldn’t even know what they really look like! What if I discover that the guy has really bad teeth once masks are no longer mandatory? Plus, we can only dine now for two hours, what if we want to talk further? And talking with masks is such a chore. What should I do?
Lonely in Yishun
Dear Lonely
Adopt a cat. I heard there are many in Yishun.
Dear Maggie,
WFH is driving me crazy. On top of my regular work, now that I am home all the time, my husband and children expect me to be the servant/repairman/Uber/shopper as well! I’ve had it up to here! How can I teach them a lesson?
Furious in Bishan
Dear Furious
I feel you. I find it pays to set out the rules—something you probably should have done in March but never mind. First, go to Starbucks by yourself early in the morning with a notebook and pen, and spend an hour writing down how you want your household to behave. Next, schedule a family conference, or rather, family briefing, and inform your spouse and offspring that these are your working hours, and these are your household hours. Everything else in between will be performed by—and here is where you pull out a schedule you have set out for them with duties they each need to perform. Additionally, these services will no longer be available:
• No fetching or dropping kids—they have to take the bus.
• No fixing the toilet/lightbulb/toaster or calling of repairmen unless it’s before work begins, during lunch or after work.
• No more random “Mommy I want ice cream now” demands. Supermarket shopping will be strictly carried out only on this day between this time and this time.
Want a soda? Go buy it yourself. If you drop a bowl, pick it up yourself and clean up the mess.
Try this out. If it doesn’t work, I’ll send you a list of reasonably-priced Wi-Fi enabled hostels to move into.
Dear Maggie
You need to settle this argument for me: milk before tea or tea before milk? I have $100 riding on this.
Joe
Dear Joe
You know, you can Google these things. But since you have a huge bet going here, of which I expect to be in some part beneficiary, here’s the answer: Both also can. You might hear some fancy person claim that the Brits always put milk into their cup before the tea, but Queen Elizabeth herself (and her family) has tea poured into her fine bone China cup first, followed by the milk. It’s been said that the poorer English classes poured milk in first because the tea’s so hot, it could cause their cheap, non-bone China cups to crack. The scientific argument for “milk first” is that if you pour milk in after the hot tea, the uneven heat of the milk causes the proteins in it denature, leading to a horrid skin forming on top. Donno how the Queen lives with that! But all this is only arguable if you make your tea in a pot. If you’re like 75 percent of us non-royal non-British folk, then it’s likely you bung a Marks & Spencer tea bag into a ceramic cup and add hot water before a slosh of milk.
Okay, you owe me $50.
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Got more questions for Maggie? Send them to askmaggieanything@gmail.com and you might be featured in the next column!
